


Lord Knows I'm Trying

by Thwoorp_Queens



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Art Major Katya, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Music Major Trixie, Smut, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 23:22:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19161094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thwoorp_Queens/pseuds/Thwoorp_Queens
Summary: Trixie Mattel has been through so much at this point, that she is so over feelings, people, and of course PEOPLE! That is until she practically almost gets run over by the most beautiful girl Trixie has ever seen. Fuck, there's no escaping emotion is there.





	Lord Knows I'm Trying

The first day of college should be considered two things. The day a whole new you begins and the day the old you dies in a fire full of rage. Or at least that's how Trixie was trying to see it. You'd think getting kicked out of your childhood home by your abusive step dad and slightly psychotic mother would push you over the edge. Nope. All of Trixie's emotions were slapped out of her at the age of 16. The magic age Trixie decided that her obsession with vaginas could only mean one thing. She was a gay with absolutely no filter but a passion for pussy. Trixie knew that embracing this persona would cause her trouble with her family but at that point she couldn't care less. She was over being treated like scum in her own home because she wasn't like her siblings. Smart or for lack of a better word, talented. Her older sister was in school to become a teacher and was already in a serious relationship that is definitely leading to a picture perfect marriage. And her younger brother added another sport to his list of things he was already amazing at. Where as Trixie would just play her guitar and ignore the world. She hated going to her brothers football games and especially hated being forced to join her sister and her dumb ass friends while they shopped. 

"Come on Bea, have a nice girls night with your sister. She can pick something nicer for you to wear." 

Nothing ventured nothing gained. She thought maybe being with her sister would help her in a way. Genevieve on the other hand, no matter how hard she tried, couldn't bring herself to hide the fact she saw her sister as a burden. Trixie wasn't stupid. Though she did love her sister the most out of her family members. She never seemed to judge Trixie's actions or appearance. In fact she even once asked Trixie to sing a song she herd her working on one night. It happened to be one of her more depressing pieces about not being good enough. Genevieve wasn't the best at picking up metaphors and what not, as she was all math and science up in that mind of hers. So she was only able to understand to the extent that Trixie wasn’t treated fairly in the family. At the time she thought it was good her sister knew this. But the last straw was pulled when she left her sister and her friends crying after hearing them talk about Trixie’s ‘ugly cloths’ and ‘obnoxious makeup’.

“Honestly, what is up with your sister and her ugly Barbie rip offs. Why do you even let her hang out with us?” 

“Yeah her makeup sucks too. Bozo called, he wants his face back.” 

Appearance. There’s a tough one to explain. For almost her entire life, Trixie has always known she wasn’t going to be like her older sister. Trixie seemed to hit puberty quicker than Genevieve had and managed to grow bigger as well. Standing next to her perfectly hour glass figured sister was like a shot to the head. She felt like the ugly duckling of her family. When she got to high school, boys would stare at her breasts and ass so much that all the other girls seemed to notice and make sure to spread the rumor that Trixie was a fat whore. Trixie tried to wear the baggiest things she had in order to draw attention away but she was never quite able to. 

Even her own mother would make her feel shitty about her weight. “Come now sweet heart, you don’t need that extra slice of pie.” or “Here honey, I packed you a healthier snack today.”. As if her usual granola bar wasn’t healthy enough.

It was comments like these that caused Trixie’s worst internal struggle. Letting people be close to her. Trixie had some friends but in the time she knew them she never let them know much about her life. The only friend she had that she told everything to was her best friend Kim. They met sophomore year in choir class, bonding over the fact they just needed a VPA to add to their records. Trixie found it easy to talk to her. She learned that Kim was also a Lesbian with parents who didn’t approve. Only Kim’s parents never hit or called her fat like Trixie’s had done to her. None the less, they confided in each-other. When the time came the two put all their savings together and bought a cute two bedroom apartment by their new college. Moving had been very smooth. Especially because Trixie was living on an air mattress on Kims floor at the time so there really wasn’t much to pack. 

Trixie remembers moving day with a fond smile. It felt like it was a thousand degrees outside and Kim had probably broken two of their new mugs in the new kitchen set they had bought as their first official ‘adult purchase’. And Trixie refused to move off of her new mattress in her new room with the excuse ‘I missed having a real ass mattress Kimberly Chi!’. Kim had laughed and thrown a pillow at her in annoyance.

Now here she was. Trixie was about to walk on campus of her new school for her first official college class. I mean really, what could go wrong?

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” said a talking white canvas wearing doc martens. Well it wasn’t really a talking canvas but the damn thing was so huge it covered the small girl behind it almost completely. All except for her shoes and the top of her messy blonde hair. 

“It’s ok. I wasn’t really expecting a giant canvas to be walking around today.” The girl laughed sweetly and thats when she finally saw the girl behind the board. She was a bit shorter than Trixie with dirty blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and red lips. While adorned in black docs she had black leggings and a white tank top. Both stained with different colors of paint.

“Anything can happen around here.” She said with a smile. God her teeth are perfect. Trixie was lost in thought when she realized she needed to say something. “Uh sure I guess. So, uh, I’ve gotta go get to um, class but hey maybe I’ll see you around?”

Wow Trix, very smooth. “Sure.” The girl smirked and walked away. Giant canvas in hand. 

At that moment Trixie’s only thought was, ‘Well, I’m fucked.’

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! Please let me know what you think and be ready I'm gonna try to pump this fic out as fast as I can but also in the process not make it too shitty lol


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